Though Australia doesn’t have an outstanding divorce rate (about 30% of first-time marriages end in divorce), they do happen often enough, and those that go through this process are often in need of help. Emotions run high in any type of marital and domestic feud, and few such feuds end without any kind of animosity. On top of that, it is also worth mentioning that the emotional distress of going through a divorce is second only to the emotional distress of suffering your spouse’s death.
With that being said, if you’re currently going through a separation process, it is important that you find proper and healthy emotional coping mechanisms. In this article, we will detail a few basic coping mechanisms you can start implementing right away and use as a basis for your mental and physical welfare through this trying process.
Grief is not Defeat
Many emotions surface in the wake of divorce. Anger, frustration, feeling of betrayal, uncertainty for the future, fear, sadness, depression, and devastation are just some of them. However, they’re all a part of the grieving process, and they’re completely natural.
To grieve is not to admit defeat. Holding back your grief has detrimental effects on your body. True, different people grieve differently, but not grieving at all and ignoring these emotions can be detrimental both for you and your family, and possibly put a strain on your friendships, mostly because you’ll appear disingenuous, or downright cold-hearted. You might be worried that your family or friends might be overwhelmed with your grief, and thus decide to hold it back, but, trust us when we say that it’s far more likely they’ll resent you for not opening up and letting them help rather than sharing some of your load with them.
Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body
During this grieving process, it becomes easier to just let go and seek small distractions. Whether that’s watching the TV, spending time online, binge eating or something else, these little distractions can lead to self-destructive behavior.
To avoid such behavior, a person going through the separation process should consider taking care of their physical activity and nutrition. It might be a drag, and mentally exhausting, but having some form of structure in your life at this particular juncture and a few healthy habits will certainly go a long way toward helping you keep your composure. Exercising is a great way to de-stress, and good eating and sleeping habits will also keep your energy levels high so you can tackle the difficult road ahead.
But Don’t Be Afraid to Humour Yourself
The modern human is a creature of habit, but letting it go once in a while isn’t a bad thing. Chances are, if you’re going through a divorce, you’ll be extremely mentally exhausted, not to mention you’ll feel lonely and desperate.
Though keeping up with healthy habits will help you in the long run, having a few outings will help you cope with the immediate fallout of the divorce process. Once you face the prospect of divorce, you’ll surely feel very down and unable to keep up, so be sure to humor yourself a little in the coming days. Prepare your favorite meal, watch your favorite movie, play your favorite game – just make sure you don’t turn turning loose into a habit.
Hire the Right Professionals
Since the largest chunk of your life for the next half year (or even up to a year!) will be taken up by the divorce process, hiring the right team of professionals will prove vital in enabling a smooth transition from married to single life.
When we say professionals, we, first and foremost, mean hiring professional council. There are a good number of trustworthy divorce lawyers in Sydney who will ensure you and your family get the best outcome.
However, there are other professionals you should consider hiring too. Your counselor might suggest you hire a financial advisor that will help you determine and adjust to your new lifestyle, considering you will have to support your household with only your own salary. Besides, there are also divorce coaches that will help you with the transitional period, and you might also consider seeing a professional psychologist that will help you with your grieving process.
All in all, having the right team of professionals means you won’t have to do everything, from legal proceedings over financial stuff down to coping with your own emotions, all on your own, and this will go greatly toward reducing your stress in the coming months.
Maintain an Amicable Relationship
Perhaps the hardest part of handling a divorce is keeping an amicable relationship with your spouse. Like we said in the beginning, few divorces end peacefully, and in the worst cases, people can become spiteful, hateful and downright nasty. They stalk their exes, try to one-up them in court and strong-arm them in the negotiations. Things can get even worse during custody disputes if the couple has kids.
All this nastiness can be easily avoided by maintaining a civil relationship with your partner. What you must realise is that, once lawyers get involved, your marriage is, for the most part, over, and you must come to terms with this fact. Whatever you or your partner have done needs to be put aside to make sure the process is over as quickly as possible, because, the faster the divorce is over with, the quicker you and your family can move on with your lives, and the quicker your children can adjust to the new situation.
In the end, keeping a cool head and looking toward the future is the way to go when it comes to overcoming the emotional difficulties that arise with divorce. Remember that life moves on and that you need to keep living your life, or else it will pass you by while you’re grieving for the moments you’ve lost.